Yes, at last Moi had found time to post something here…Thanks to blogging world for giving a standing ovation and breaking into thunderous applause even before reading the post…hee hee…
Moi wanted this post to happen several weeks ago , but the fact is, he was too busy with his official duties and when ever he found some free time to put something on the blog, he was called for some extreeemly urgent work. Actually, every other task Moi does, would have “high priority and extreeemly important and urgent” tag attached to it. He has developed an unique ability of converting even a normal day-to-day mundane task into an extreeemly urgent one – the name of the game is procrastination. Every work he does, so is, extreeemly urgent and important ones. All his today’s tasks would have had the deadlines either yesterday or the day before yesterday or last week or at times, last month,last year or even sometime during his previous birth.So, you readers of this blog, if you wanted to do only extreeemly important work, then, you are one of those mortals who require some help from Moi.
The mortals – who always wanted to become perfect human - at some point of time in their life, resorted to one technique or other to improve themselves to achieve perfection. With lot of books on self improvement mushrooming in the market claiming to help these mortals, Moi thought , why not he write something on the same lines - afterall he had been written off by so many well-wishers saying that he had no room for self improvement which means that he had already attanied perfection. He decided to write about a technique that will improve everybody’s life, that will be easy to follow, that will reap quick results, and most improtantly, the one that he followed in all walks of his life. Unlike all self improvement gurus, who only preach but not practice and took examples from other’s life when they preched, Moi decided to tell the world what he followed relgiously and decided to quote anecdotes from his life to support the cause. Having said so, it is up to the ignorent reader to take the learnings out of the post and start particing the technique. The techinique of “ achiving perfection by countering procastination”
Moi mastered the art and science of procrastination before his birth and actually, had put that into practice during his birth. Amma carried him for an extra 10 days ( that’s 10 months and 10 days you knoww…) before the doctor decided that a normal delivery was out of question and only an operation could bring him out. But Moi decided at the last moment that it would be a normal delivery and after giving several false pains to his amma, he surprised everyone by choosing a full, un-adultered ( neranja ) raahu kaalam on a bright sunny Saturday to see the world for the first time. His birth still stands a testimony for Moi’s pencent in achieving perfection in procrastination.
His school days were fun and he, subconsciously, continued achieving perfection in procrastination during this time. Normally, the homework assignments were supposed to be written at home but there were 2 groups of students who always wrote the assignments in the classroom. Both the groups followed the same technique of completing the assignments when the class was going on by having the home work notebook on the lap and scribbling fast on it without being noticed by the teacher. The only difference was the assignment they wrote and the date of submission. The studious, enthusiastic group wrote the assignments that were to be submitted the next day, that was given by the teacher the previous hour. The “procrastination” group wrote the assignments that were to be submitted the next hour. There were times, when Moi even had the narrowest of the escapes when he had just finished his homework when the teacher would be correcting/collecting the front bencher’s home work assignments. Recently, when Moi knew that the Japanese were following a similar technique and reaped huge benefits in their supply chain activities and called it as “JIT “– “Just in time inventory”, he was overwhelmed that his group were pioneers in JIT even during the school days.
Moi developed the habit of studying for the exams in the 11th hour when he grew a millimeter taller than his appa’s shoulder.( that was way too quick, it was in his 8th std…wink..). Even in the exam days,
During preparation - he played till it was too late in the night, started studying only when others started sleeping, gulped as much Horlicks possible during this “day before the exam midnight study” saga, procrastinated mugging formulae thinking that leaning by heart during fresh mornings will increase the probability of him remembering the formulas, but slept till it was too late in the morning, forgot hall tickets, pens, pencils etc,
During examination - looked at the question paper and almost sat still for the first 15 mins to regroup himself and get the rhythm going, derived all formulas as he did not mug them and tried all difficult questions until it was too late to write the known easy ones, attained full speed in writing only when the last bell rang that announced that only half an hour was left, scribbled all known answers in the last moment and came out of the hall without even knowing if the question paper was tough or easy
post examination – he went home riding his bicycle with group of 10 friends, slept for next 5 hours with full satisfaction as if he had done something great that day, got up, played till it was too late in the night ….and the same routine continued…
Miraculously, procrastination was never an issue for him as it had already become a part of his life and he was some how getting decent grades and few times, even surprised every one by being a topper in few subjects.
So the student readers:
- Waste your day time & study at the last moment by staying awake in the night, by burning your midnight oil. Get used to nocturnal life. It would come handy when you end up being a night watchman.
- Don’t learn formulae by heart. Your friends would do that and can get good marks, but you gather the much needed knowledge. Knowledge is wealth. Try to derive the formulae when you write exams. Trust Moi, its interesting and it has only 2 outcomes. It might either lead you nowhere or it might lead you to a revolutionary equation that would open up a new school of thought.
In job, procrastination is an integral part of time management. It throws up lots of benefits – It helps in prioritizing work, it is an escape strategy and above all, it helps you feel that your job is very important for the company. Procrastinators are real assets in any team and are generally lazy geeks who always work on finding the easiest way to finish any task.
It is not difficult to find a procrastinator in the team. They use the following phrases frequently during the interactions
- "We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working it"
- "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" It’s not getting done, At least not till tomorrow!”
- "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time to talk now"
- "We can always do it" means" We cannot do it on time"
- “We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "We screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
- "You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would not have mattered, I cannot complete it now !"
In general, it’s always good to have at least one procrastinator in the team so that the team would get fine tuned with help of this proven fighter and it defies logic to have a perfect team.
When you think of procrastinators, you can find a common thread that binds every one of them. They are either working on something in a feverish pace or sit idle. They do marginally useful things, like watering the plants or cleaning the inbox or writing comments on a blog ( wink…) at the normal pace when it is not a time bound issue. If all that procrastinator had to do is to clean the inbox at 3:00 PM daily for 2 hours and if the work was to be inspected at 7::00 PM by a superior, then nobody on earth could get him do it at right time. They simply cannot do a work which they were supposed to do – on time.
As a reader, at this point, you may feel that procrastination requires a certain amount of self-deception. All the self help books will advice a procrastinator to understand and commit himself to tasks with inflated importance and pseudo deadlines, while making himself feel that they are important and urgent. This way, he would be able to do the less urgent and less important tasks. But these books easily forget that virtually all procrastinators have excellent self-deceptive skills..So, If you ever think of coming out of this habit, please get all your tasks prioritized.
If you have already started being true to yourself and devised a plan to come out of it – please procrastinate it, else, you will lead a peaceful and productive life!